


dead stags month

by Julx3tte



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 31 ways they die, Angst, F/M, Jilytober 2019, multiple different AUs, sometimes just one, they dont always die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-11-23 04:30:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20886149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julx3tte/pseuds/Julx3tte
Summary: 31 ways James and Lily die or come apart. For jilytober19, I offer angst and angst aplenty. Seriously.🦌🔫





	1. assassins!au

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Only got 14/31 done this year and missed a few fun prompts but I want closure, so I’m capping it out! See you next year for Jilytober

James was a fantastic assassin, but even he couldn’t escape a building full of soldiers unscathed.

It took him every ounce of effort to slip away, hand pressed against his side. If he was thinking clearer, he might have found it suspicious that he managed to escape at all.

At least, though, he got what he came for. One of Tom’s top lieutenants lay dead in her own house, and the Order’s calling card left burned into the first floor, a smoky contrast to the ornate decor of the Black’s family home.

Of course it was Sirius that made the point to leave the mark where everyone would see it.

By the time he pressed his call beacon and patched himself up, he was clear-headed enough to realize something was amiss. Leaning against a tree, waiting for the familiar sound of his partner’s whistle letting him know it was time to leave, James replayed the mission in his mind.

No one had chased him, and it was even too easy that he managed to infiltrate their compound. The kill was suspiciously simple, especially knowing what Bella could do in the open field.

Fifteen minutes later, he knew something was wrong. Lily still wasn’t nearby, and he’d stymied the wound for long enough that he could move around again, even only at 75%.

James considered that he was tracked, but it was unlikely. The blow he took, some kind of spear running through his side, missed anything vital, and really only hindered him in the recovery time.

He made double sure he wasn’t being traced and ran back to their camp. 

Halfway through, a cold chill ran up his spine. Hands numbed, he realized what was happening.

Bella was never in that house. Master torturer, the Eater’s director of intelligence, who took on the tasks Tom wanted to wash his hands from. She had been a step ahead of them.

When the camp was in visual range, he knew it was too late.

Most of the team was dead, and Lily was held on her knees by several soldiers in front of Bella.

It was clear she was being interrogated for information. James could barely make out what Bella was saying.

“He’s dead you know. It’s time. We put poison in him and let him run. By now he’s probably nearby. I wonder whose words will be last.”

Lily had been stoic stoic, but her facade broke upon hearing the words. Not many others could tell, but James always knew.

They were never an item. Their world was too fast paced, too dangerous to be together. They worked together seamlessly, but they never really talked about their personal lives.

Bella’s booming voice cut through James’ thoughts. The numbness spread through his arms and his feet. “You loved him didn’t you? It’s alright. Despite what Tom thinks, I’m not so cruel. Let that thought be your last, dear.”

Then, with a bang of light and a sob from Lily, she crumpled to the ground.James’s couldn’t move his body. He fell to his knees, then laid prone in the dirt, head still gazing at Lily as his breathing slowed to a crawl. She loved him. He was certain she did.

Moments later, he heard the crunching of footsteps in the dark as James eyes shut.


	2. artemis!au

The path to Artemis’ temple was the simplest of all of the branches of the Road of the Gods. A dozen waist-high columns, each carrying a statue of deer, some with heads held high and others gazing simply, stood watch over a bend, and at the end of the path were twelve steps that led to the courtyard of the temple.

Lily had walked this path many times in her nineteen years. As her twentieth birthday drew closer, the steps became more and more familiar. Soon the temple would be her home – and not merely the courtyard, but the inner sanctuary where only priests and maidens were meant to tread.

Now, with merely six months left, Lily’s daily journey became livelier. A priest met her at the entrance to the courtyard, and each day she learned more of the responsibilities she would be expected to hold.

Her parents, who had promised her to Artemis when she was a child, had asked to keep her through her adolescence. Artemis was more than merciful – Lily was allowed to remain with her parents until she was old enough to marry. Rather than take a husband, she would offer her days in service to Artemis.

Artemis’ maidens were given one of two responsibilities, and Lily hoped that she would be chosen as a handmaiden rather than as a temple caretaker. Handmaidens were allowed near the Goddess’ temple in Olympus, of which the city temples were merely copies.

This was the thought which carried her through practicing the immense precision required of her service: of holding water vessels, anointing oil, of carrying bound scrolls and cleaning replicas of hunting weapons.

The labor was difficult, but Lily managed by thinking, each minute, about the joy of serving a Goddess who would care for her and bless her family.

Despite that, the way home to her parents was uneventful and rueful. It was difficult to return home knowing soon she wouldn’t be able to return. Her parents, rightly preparing to lose their daughter, were growing detached, and her sister had always been unhappy that it was Lily who was chosen to serve the divine.

If Lily were being honest, part of Petunia’s resentment came from having to pick up Lily’s share of chores as Lily dedicated more time learning to serve Artemis.

The worst part of the walk home was passing by the Potters’ home. The Potters were a prominent artisan family, who earned the commissions to decorate the various temples. Even the animal figures outside Artemis’ temple bore the Potter’s mark. Their only son, James, was her age and perhaps the most eligible young man in the city.

Over the months as she passed by, he would wave, or offer her bread. Recently, he had begun to ask her questions about serving at the temple, and as the hours between arriving home and falling asleep grew colder, she’d begun to indulge him.

Soon she began to remember the Potters’ family crest – a deer with antlers held high – which was burned on the table and found under each piece crafted by the family.

Of course, Lily knew this could never lead anywhere. Soon she would be a maiden forever, and besides, James was expected to marry a daughter of some other prominent family. The Evanses, save for her, were forgettable.

“Alright, Evans?” James asked as Lily came to sight around the bend. James was sitting by a long bench, arranging the day’s clayware to dry overnight.

“Fine, thank you,” she replied. She’d been thinking about how time with her family was coming to a close. Soon, she would begin to spend nights at the temple as well.

“How’s your family?” James asked. As if sensing her thoughts, he stepped around to the front of the table, learning against it. His hands were covered in ash and clay dust, and as he crossed his arms, he left streaks of red and black on the sleeves of his tunic.

It was an unassuming position. She could see where the day’s sweat streaked down James’ neck, not to mention where James’ skin was left darker and kissed by the sun.

If she were an ordinary woman, able to take suitors and herself contend for his hand, it would be the most curious thing. A different day perhaps, or a different time. For tonight, though, she gazed into his brown eyes and replied:

“Doing well, James. See you.”

And with that, she continued on her way, leaving James gazing at her wake.

.

The same encounter almost each day for the next several months, and as the work became more difficult, and her family grew more distant, she allowed herself to indulge more and more in these short conversations. Soon she began to look forward to them, like a cold drink of water after a long walk.

James, too, grew bolder. He would touch her arm or take a hand, leaving reddish-orange residue on her skin that she would wash off before she returned home, and certainly before she returned to the temple. Once or twice, he would draw lines in ash on her arm. Lily, eventually, realized they were the same as the antlers’ that marked the entrance to the Potter’s property.

As the days at the temple grew longer, and she began to walk at night, their sunset conversations grew into dusky ones. To keep away from the cold, she came near the oven James used to bake each day’s wares.

Illuminated by the orange of the flame, James took her hands and pulled her closer. Their lips met once, and it was as if the flame from the oven covered her entire body. Face flushed, she considered how to compose herself.

“You know, Potter, that I am to preserve my maidenhood,” she leveled.

“Yes, Evans, and I know that maidenhood is a nebulous concept at best.”

“And how will you come to my defense when Artemis realizes I am unfit for service?” Her voice was cold, but her eyes told another story.

“By asking the goddess for your service,” James said quietly.

“My service?”

“To help me craft a hundred new sculptures as payment.”

“Payment for what?” asked Lily.

“Payment for a maiden to take as a wife.” James brown eyes reflected the oven’s flame, and Lily knew that, behind his confident tone was an invitation.”

She had no reply. She squeezed his hands, left him a last kiss, and returned home.

The next day, she began to spend nights at the temple, and the months passed as quickly as she remembered a potter’s wheel spinning.

Lily tried her best not to think about James’ hands shaping clay as well.

.

Lily indeed was selected to become a handmaiden. Her first time in Olympus, she met the other women that composed Artemis’ inner circle. They treated her well but were no less distant than her family over the last few months.

She had trained well enough to make no mistakes, but after her third day, Artemis addressed her by name, and she understood the rite of passage left for her to take.

“Lily, I take each of my maidens on a hunt before they are permanently pressed into service. I trust you know to use a bow?” Artemis’ voice was lofty and airy, and left no room for question.

Lily nodded, too afraid to reply in kind.

“We go tomorrow evening. Ready a bow for yourself, practice, and we shall turn you yet into a servant fit for the hunt.” With that, Artemis left the room, and the other handmaidens led Lily to her next tasks.

.

The night of the hunt marked a shift in her relationship to the other handmaidens. They were more careful, much closer to her, and wished her well as she left for the hunt.

Artemis took Lily to a forest just outside of town, and asked her to draw the bow

“I will bring your mark to you – just release when you think the time is right. Your arrow will find true.” Artemis gave Lily a small touch on her shoulder, and disappeared into the trees.

Lily wondered what she meant – that her arrow would land. She was proficient hitting a standing target, but a moving animal would take at least several shots.

In the moonlight, she stood in silence for some time, thinking. This was the final threshold before the rest of her life. She could see the town’s tallest buildings just over the trees, and quietly thanked Artemis for one last sight of her previous life. In her months of preparation, her arms grew stronger and she found no problem holding her bow at the ready.

A far cry from the times James would touch her arm and leave ash prints on smooth skin.

Lily wondered what animal she would be sent. She hoped it would be a larger one, so that it could be easier to hit.

In front of Lily was a pond, and as if on cue, the leaves on the other side rustled. Moments later, a stag came in sight, staring up at the moonlight. Lily could see the shimmer in its eyes. The stag turned to look at her, and slowly stepped forward until its front legs touched the water bank.

Artemis was nowhere in sight – Lily knew it was intentional. This was a private moment, something Artemis would ask about but never intrude upon.

She thought of James, the flame in his eyes and clay on his skin. She thought of the way her body burned at his touch.

She thought of the antlers on the Potters’ crest, and the lines drawn on her skin, and tried to forget the pattern she’d memorized each day since he’d said “Alright Evans” for the first time – tried not to see it in the stag before her.

Then, she let the arrow fly, and turned away before the stag bucked and fell into the waters.

On the other side of the trees, Artemis and her handmaidens stood in a clearing, ready to welcome Lily into their court.


	3. car crash au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for this one

“They really did die in a car crash,“ Harry said, resigned. "After everything they went through, a muggle car killed them.”

He felt Ginny’s hand come around his shoulder in comfort, but his spine was cold.

Harry knew he was lucky to live in a world without Tom Riddle. James and Lily were the heroes of the wizarding world, who vanquished the dark lord in their home. Harry remembered almost nothing of the night. But he’d seen pictures of the house, splintered and broken, save for his bedroom, and understood that they had come for him.

That battle ended a decade of turmoil, but weeks after the battle, James and Lily perished in an accident. It was something Harry never understood. How could the world allow his parents to experience such joy only to take them away?

The papers, and even the Order explained it as a simple car accident, and Harry never believed that their deaths were so innocent.

So, he made it his life’s mission to find the truth. Over the years he’d tracked down every eye witness to the accident, taken their silver, wispy memories, and recreated the scene in a pensieve.

.

It was surreal to live in a world free from death.

For the first time in his life, James felt removed from the shadow of passing. He had something to look forward to: a future with Lily; a career doing…. well, anything he chose, really; and most important of all, raising his beautiful son Harry.

He and Lily had taken to exploring the muggle world more. They took Harry to Zoos and on the train, and the two of them began to watch movies together. Recently, James decided to buy a car and move around the world in a way he’d never done before. Lily told him all about the Evans family’s long drives, and James wanted to practice and take Harry on those same trips.

.

According to the muggle police reports, it happened at 7:08pm at a busy intersection. The Potters’ car had just began to cross the intersection when a speeder ran a red light, crashing into the passenger’s side and flipping the car. The vehicle in the next lane couldn’t brake in time, and the accident became the center of a multi-car pile-up. The couple perished instantly.

.

Harry, lost in the pensieve, played it back over and over again, looking for any traces of magic. Every blind spot was the result of years of tracking down witnesses that might have caught that angle.

There were no wands, no spells, no death eaters, no malicious intent. James and Lily simply didn’t have enough time to cast shield charms before the speeding car hit them.

.

As he left the pensieve, extracted one last silvery wisp of memory with his wand and placed it in a clear bottle. He put this bottle in a cupboard and closed it up. Then, he leaned over and held Ginny in his arms until he could stand again.


	4. poisons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - poisons

As soon as she tasted the bitter, ashy potion, she knew. So as to not let James onto the truth, she smiled and brushed her thumb against his hands.

Slughorn had taught her too well how to tell potions apart, and she knew this would happen as soon as she’d had a sip of the wine. 

The Orders’ youngest recruits were out in Muggle London for a final hurrah -  _ getting right pissed, _ to borrow Sirius’ words - and had found their way to a bar for their nightcap.

In hindsight, she should have known they might be tailed. But even in that case, she’d expected something closer to a back alley duel than a sophisticated assasination attempt.

The bartender poured them all drinks, and she’d drank from them first. Immediately she registered the metallic, numbing taste of some poison. Feigning drunkenness, she threw out an arm and spilled the rest of their drinks.

James had put an arm around her to help her up, and she’d managed to whisper in his ear: “Poison. Get me to the hospital. Don’t drink those.”

Despite all of the drinks in his system, he sobered up instantly. The others were easily corralled, and by the time they’d managed to apparate her to the hospital, the poison had set in.

It was a sort of magical anesthesia. Lily understood the basics of muggle anesthesia, and how it creates a loss of sensation. Someone had combined it with a magical draught, and it would shut down her organs over the next few hours.

Thankfully it was painless. But Lily also knew there wouldn’t be much of an antidote. Half of the issue was magical, but the other half was an analgesic overdose, which the wizard doctors wouldn’t pick up in time. 

To her surprise, it was easy to resign to her fate. It was a smart and intelligent assassination, and would draw little attention. If anything, it would restrict the Order’s knowledge of the poison, as she was both their best potioneer and their only muggleborn. Harder was seeing James at her bedside, waiting for her to recover.

The first hour was easy, and then the second, but by the third, James was getting restless. The rest of the group remained outside to give them privacy, and by the fourth hour, different members of the Order had come by to wish her well. She knew it was their way of paying respects.

James, however, remained desperate. 

By the fifth hour, Lily’s vitals were beginning to fade. The doctors came in and out to make sure she was comfortable. James kept vigil, giving encouragement and promises. 

Just before the sixth hour, Lily knew it was time. She turned to James and gave him one last kiss. “I love you, Potter,” she managed to whisper. Then, she let her eyes drift asleep. 

The doctors rushed in, and as they were working, James stopped one by the arm.

“Why isn’t the antidote working?” James asked. His knuckles were white-gripped on the wizard’s robe.

“Sir, yo-”

“Why isn’t she awake?” His voice was hoarse and barely a whisper, held together by what little breath he could manage. It felt as if he were underwater and the air was as thick as the ocean.

“Sir. None of our antidotes worked. I’m sorry.”

James said nothing. He stared blankly at the wall above Lily’s head as the doctors moved around the room, not noticing that he was being pulled away by the other Order members.

Before leaving the room, he held Lily’s limp hands one last time and whispered into her ear. “I love you too Lils.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt or yell at me; Shining-jul-of-hope.tumblr.com 
> 
> I’ll post there 1st


	5. Vesuvius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mt. Vesuvius erupts.

* * *

Vesuvius

The island shore was frantic. A hundred boats setting out to launch, fighting choppy waves and steam rising from the waters.

Lily and James cut through the crowd quickly. Bundle in her arms, Lily let James lead the way through the crowd, most of whom clamored to the boat masters with money pouches in their hands, hoping for a fare off the island.

Sirius was waiting for them at the dock. Captain of the  _ North Star _ , Sirius had told his closest friends to meet him at the dock as soon as possible.

For the superstitious, the last few days were filled with ominous signs: the ground shook and cracked at the base of Vesuvius, and several children reported getting burned in the forest nearby.

For most of the residents of Pompeii, it was an ordinary day, up until several hours ago.

Ash spilled from the top of the mountain, and the whole island quaked as if a titan or god were erupting from the earth.

Those rich enough to leave took their ships or chartered them for their families, leaving fishing boats and few military ships left in the harbor. Those with money swarmed them, looking for a fare to flee the island, but the majority of the city went on with their lives, determined to enjoy one final day.

Sirius had left to prepare his boat and tasked his friends to meet him, but by the time James and Lily arrived, it was almost too late.

The top of the mountain melted into bright red and began to spill down the slope, drawing horrified cries from the crowd.

Even near the shore, the ground began to split and vent steam. The unfortunate people standing nearby were scalded and burned and fell screaming.

It was time to go.

Sirius had cast off a few feet from the dock to avoid the desperate few who tried to jump the gap and get into the boat. It was nearly full already – he held two final spots for James and Lily, who were running up the dock.

Before they could reach the edge, the water in between the dock and the ship erupted, spraying a spout of burning water into the air. Lily immediately turned to shield Harry, in her arms.

“There’s no time Sirius,” James yelled as soon as the water died down. Spouts of water around the harbor shot up into the air, and the ground quaked violently.

“What do you mean, get on!” Sirius yelled back.

“Take Harry and go,” James yelled, taking Harry from Lily. He held him out over the water, and Sirius cradled the baby in his arms. “Keep him safe.”

Sirius paused and nodded, then shouted at his men to cast away.

“Alright, Potter?” Lily asked.

James didn’t reply – instead, he took Lily into his arms and kissed her.

Moments later, Vesuvius erupted proper, spilling molten rock and ash into the sky, killing everyone on the island instantly.

Sirius, whose ship had gotten far enough away from the island to be spared, turned and saw James and Lily’s petrified figures standing where the harbor was, frozen in each other’s arms. 


	6. hospice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Hospice.

"Hey James?"

"Yes babe?" James looked up from his newspaper.

"Too old for that." Lily gave a half-hearted wave.

"Never dear. What do you need?"

"Elixir of life, preferably"

James stared at her, deadpanned. "How are you cracking jokes on your deathbed?"

"I'm talented," Lily grinned.

James let out a deep sigh. "Okay. What do you need?

"When are the kids coming?"

"Soon dear." James took the moment to check his phone for any new texts from Harry.

The heart rate monitor beeped every few moments, but other than that, the room was as quiet as a spell. James, who sat on his armchair at the side of the room, quietly kept vigil until his phone buzzed.

"They're here."

Lily had chosen to remain at home instead of going to a hospital, wizarding or muggle. Over the years, James (through Harry's influence) had learned to use muggle technology, and in retirement, he and Lily even moved to a muggle neighborhood.

Through the front door came Harry, Ginny, and a gaggle of grandchildren and great grandchildren. Their other extended family had come by throughout the week, but for this moment, Lily had asked for more privacy.

It wasn't every day you picked a day to die, after all.

The prognosis was age. Doctors, both wizarding and muggle, had diagnosed Lily's various ailments as her body beginning to fail. Of course, each of her doctors had offered ways to cure or manage the symptoms. Eventually, Lily had asked the doctors when she would become so uncomfortable that it would be too difficult to maintain independence.

They offered a solution: a strong sleep drought would be enough to take her into her last phase of life, until her body passed naturally.

"Hi mom," Harry said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "Feel alright?"

"Fine dear. Thank your grandson for me would you?" Albus had married a muggle and raised his children in the muggle world, and his eldest chose to become a doctor; he'd helped prepare their home for Lily's last year.

"He was happy to help."

"Ready mom?"

"Yes. I'm glad you're here."

"Ginny has the potion."

The family gathered around Lily's bed. Over the last few months, they'd had time to talk and come to closure. When Lily decided on her death date, James had joked about how many tissues they needed to pass around.

James stood to Lily's side, holding her hand. "Ready?"

"Do I get my last words?" Lily replied, causing everyone to laugh.

"Yes dear."

"I love you. Thank you for giving me such a happy life."

James passed her the purple potion. Before taking a drink, she looked around the room at her family. James had been trying to hide wiping his eyes. Ginny held Harry's hands tightly, while the two brothers hugged the younger Lily between them.

Lily drank the potion unceremoniously, and within seconds, slipped right to sleep. Albus checked the medical equipment one last time, before the family gathered into the dining room to mourn one final time.


	7. cabins

The seconds he had bought them had meant everything.

The four of them had been staying in an Airbnb cabin up in the mountains. Remus and Sirius suggested the idea, and he and Lily came along for the ride. It was supposed to be a last hurrah before Remus and Lily went off to med school - a hearty and memorable party for the four of them.

The first few nights went by easily, but on the third night, James began to feel something was wrong. As if they were being watched, or observed from afar. Each time he looked out into the woods, he felt as if something or someone was watching him back.

Then came the nightmares. He dreamt vividly of the group being captured and bound in the middle of the night, and led through the forest. He dreamt of a large stone altar, and a massive snake that ruled the woods.

Then he began to notice some things around the cabin.

There were the odd scratches around the back walls of the cabin, which was made of stacked, horizontal logs. There was a locked trap door under the rug in the main sitting room. Now that he had a moment to connect the dots, James also realized that the last review online was over a year ago.

James was planning to share with the group on their fifth evening there, but just as he was beginning to explain his theory, the lights went out.

A hush descended over them as the room went pitch black.

Then, warm light surged through the windows. Outside, they saw a group of hooded figures with torches and blades.

"Run for the car," James commanded. Shellshocked, Sirius quietly went for the keys.

The area was known for a historical cult, which operated from a nearby town. They'd disappeared over the last decade, and tourist activity slowly began to climb up.

James had no doubt that his dreams were related to these cultists. And James understood that they meant to sacrifice them.

"Run on my mark," he said, pushing everyone to the doors. Once the figures stopped, encircling the cabin, he yanked the door open and sprinted.

The group ran for the car, and as James got a closer look, he realized that they wouldn't make it. There were too many figures, who had begun to run towards the group. They would reach them before they could get into the car.

"Go," he yelled at the others. 

Then, he turned on his heels and ran right at the nearest cultist, knocking him over and taking his torch.

The others had gotten to the car before they realized what he'd done.

As the cultists swarmed him, James felt an intense pain on his right leg. He collapsed to the ground and realized that he'd been cut deeply on the side of his thighs.

Now immobilized, the cultists lifted him up. He managed to catch a glimpse of the car carrying Lily, Remus, and Sirius speeding away before he lost consciousness.


	8. obliviate

Obliviate

"Obliviate."

The world burned a bright white, and for a moment, the man believed that he was floating through the stars.

Then, he crashed into the ground, his arms and legs failing. He heard the sound of crunching steps away from him, and saw a flash of gold glinting through the dark. Then there was nothing.

On the first day, the man realized he was hungry. The forest was sparsely settled, but nearby was a stream with clear, cold water. There, the man saw himself for the first time.

He had messy, black hair. It'd been bothering him all night, and he'd combed it with his hands over and over again to get it to lay properly. The man splashed some water to keep it still, and was greeted by the chill of water running down his spine.

Deciding he quite enjoyed it, the man jumped into the stream.

Finding food took more time, but eventually he foraged some fruit.

.

On the second night, the man woke frantically. He sprinted through the forest, moving faster than he'd ever thought he could run.

He heard the sound of galloping hooves and for a moment, thought he was being chased - until he realized that the sound came from below him. When he turned to look, his head caught on something. He wondered if it was his hair.

At the stream, he caught his own reflection in the moonlight. Large antlers protruded from his head.

Perhaps it would be easier to eat this way, he thought. Then he tried to imagine the image of himself he'd seen that morning, and found himself splashing in the ocean.

So he could shift.

.

The weeks passed. The man learned it was easier to eat as a stag, and to keep predators at bay by becoming a man. He mapped out the forest's boundaries, became acquainted to some other creatures that lived in the forest.

Of particular interest was a fluffy black dog, which ran with him as a stag, and sometimes remained with him as a man. It kept him warm, and followed him to the stream some mornings. The man learned that the dog loved to swim.

His voice, largely unused, was helpful to give the dog commands. He gave it a name: Paddy, remembering that dog's feet were called pads.

.

The months passed. One night, the black dog sprinted to him in a frantic. Behind him, a loud howl cut through the quiet of the night.

Paddy nudged James, pulling him by the hand to sprint. He knew to turn into a stag then.

Moments later, a long, pale wolf came to the other side of the clearing.

The deer's ears perked and he prepared to run, but Paddy paused cautiously. As if it was familiar with this wolf.

He observed closer. The wolf's limbs were too long to be an animal, and it had little fur. It stared back at him as if curious.

The dog took a step forward, and so did the wolf. The deer followed a step behind, until the two canines began to sniff each other cautiously.

Then Paddy bolted, sprinting through the treeline, yelping at the deer to follow.

The three of them ran through the woods, around the boundaries, through the stream, and, illuminated in the moonlight, the deer realized that the two were playing.

That he was part of this now.

.

The pattern continued for months - each full moon, the three of them would sprint through the woods, and even fight playfully.

.

One morning, the deer stood at the forest's boundaries, watching the plains below the small cliff that marked the tree line.

He knew there were human settlements in the distance - could tell from the tall crops and the smoke that trailed up into the sky. He'd always kept his distance - and never asked why the dog and the wolf always seemed to come from that direction.

.

One morning, the deer drank from a stream and heard the sound of a crunch behind him.

The deer turned in alarm, and only caught a glimpse of red through the brush.

It happened again a few times, but he was never quick enough to catch more than a shimmer and a flash of red.

He decided he wanted to know more.

The next time, instead of turning in alarm, he waited. The deer stood at the edge of the water, and fought every urge in his body to turn.

He heard footsteps come close, then stop.

Finally, sensing that whatever had been watching him was ready to be seen, he turned.

Before him was a beautiful red woman. Sniffing cautiously, the deer realized she smelled of the wolf and the dog. A friend.

She ran her hands through his short fur, and as he got closer, he realized that the woman was crying.

The deer shifted back and became a man, knowing - as the dog had done - to comfort her tears with warmth and closeness.

"James," he heard her whisper. "James," and she didn't let go of the embrace.


	9. titanic!au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> surprisingly fluffy

Standing on the deck of the Express was a curious thing.

The skies above were breathtaking. Without light pollution, the full weight of the galaxy illuminated the scene, and bright stars offered plenty of light.

Below, frigid waves threatened a numbing death to those that fell in.

The ship's owners advertised it to be unsinkable, and sent it off for it's maiden voyage. Yet tonight, that promise proved a lie.

Just an hour ago, an iceberg ripped a great gash on the ship's side. It came with a screeching, shrill sound as metal and ice collided.

At first, James thought that the sound came at an unfortunate time. Over dinner, he'd gotten to know Ms. Lily Evans, a fiery red head who wore a stunning blue dress. He made his way to her in the ballroom, trading dancing partners until she turned and found her way to him.

He knew he was attractive, sure, and charming. But as soon as their hands met, he found himself at a loss for words.

She was absolutely gorgeous, and a fantastic dancer. For the first few minutes, James put his every effort into weaving them through the crowd.

She made no move to change partners again, and once the final song completed, stood expectantly before him.

"Aren't you going to ask a girl for dinner?" she challenged.

"Would you like to join me?" James asked.

"Not without your name. You're a great dancer though."

"Potter. James Potter."

"Lily Evans. Let's eat, James."

Truthfully, Lily had been watching James from the beginning. She danced only to avoid the awful conversations she'd been forced to sit through.

The music played too loudly for any sort of conversation, and moving took the rest of her attentions.

A quick scan of the men on the dance floor proved fruitless, until she caught sight of James' black hair. He seemed bored, dancing a song here and a song there with different partners.

But when they locked eyes across the floor, she knew it would be quite the interesting night.

After dinner, James offered his suite in exchange for her company. She gladly took the offer.

He was nervous. Despite the bravado he'd displayed at dinner, truthfully he'd never done anything like this. He hoped Lily wouldn't notice, but he quickly learned that Lily was as perceptive as she was attractive.

"You okay, James?" She interrupted his absentminded sharing about how he came to be on the Express.

James sighed. "To be honest, no. I've never done this sort of thing before."

"What thing is this, exactly?" she teased.

James' face ran red. "Uhm. Erm."

"I'm just teasing James. Me neither. If I'm being honest, every other man on this ship that's tried to talk to me has been absolutely boring."

"Oh."

"No expectations here. I'm satisfied if all we do is talk and get a little cozy."

"Oh."

Lily took the next move, closing the gap between them and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Then, she sat on his bed and waved for him to continue.

"So why'd you get on the Express?" she asked.

"I wanted to know if it was unsinkable," he replied. "And you?"

"I wanted to see what kind of people tested an unsinkable ship."

Eventually, James got comfortable enough to lay down as well. Just as he was about to kiss her, a loud shriek pierced through the ship.

"What in the bloody hell?" James asked, moments before klaxons blared across the ship.

The two stared at each other before piecing together the pieces.

"We're sinking?"

"Well James, we have two options. We could stay here and finish what we started, or we could get to some life rafts."

"Don't be crazy Lily, we've got to go!" James jumped out of the bed, and Lily laughed.

"I'm just teasing James."

"At a time like this?"

"If not now, then when?" Then she took him by the hand and led him to the hallway.

The ornate carpet was already damp with cold water, and from the bottom of the stairwell came a hissing sound.

They climbed the stairs just as the captain began an announcement. A deep voice asked the passengers to remain calm as they worked out a plan to get everyone off the ship.

Just looking at the scene deflated Lily's high spirits. She knew the damage to the ship was too much.

"There aren't enough life boats, James. Look." She pointed to two men arguing. Moments later, the scene became violent. One of the men shoved the other, and the second man tripped and fell off of the deck.

"Well Lily, we have a choice. We could stay here and watch the descent into madness." James took a moment to gaze up into the stars.

"Or?" Lily realized he'd taken hold of her hands.

"Or, we could make our own path."

"Off the ship?"

"Do you think we have a chance?" he asked.

"Maybe if we took a life raft. But I'd get one and you wouldn't, probably. If things don't get much worse."

"What's waiting for you on the other side?"

"What's waiting for you?"

"Managing my parent's fortune. Somehow."

"Debt. This was my chance to get away," Lily confessed.

"Sounds like we're made for each other."

Lily kissed him then, pulling herself into his arms against the frigid cold. He kissed better than he danced.

The kiss broke when one of the ship's mates corralled them into the nearest life boat.

Moments later, they cast off of the Express, cold waves breaking the bow of their small boat, waiting for rescue to come.

.

Days later, the American newspapers ran this headline:

_ The Unsinkable Express Sinks _

_ Hit by an iceberg, rescue ships failed to find survivors of the tragic accident. 1517 passengers confirmed missing, including James Potter, heir of the Potter fortune. Experts say that chances of survival are slim after 36 hours. _


	10. loop

Again and again and again.

Days now, she'd collapsed into the makeshift pillow only to wake up in her four-poster bed in Gryffindor tower

No matter what she tried, each day played out the same way: Lily turning the corner to find his petrified body. Screaming for help, her legs failing her, and making a pillow out of her dirt covered robes.

The first time, she felt her stomach tear in two. The Slytherin boys had upped their taunting over the last few weeks, aimed mostly at James and the others. For the most part, she was kept out of it.

But that day, they took a step too far, dragging James' family into it. Sirius had to pull him off of Avery, who crumpled in a heap after the first spell. James managed three more before Remus could get his wand.

Then Severus and the others had sworn some kind of threat and walked off with Avery's unconscious body.

An hour later, she turned the corner during her patrol and found James frozen on the ground, wand drawn in one hand, the other trying to cover his eyes.

.

She'd fallen asleep crying, and when she woke up, it seemed a mercy to be back in her bed. A heavy pit weighted each step to the bathroom, and she stayed in bed for the day.

But when no one came to check on her, Lily got suspicious. There would be an announcement or a private conversation with Dumbledore at least for something so grim.

When she came down to the common room to see James dancing merrily, she fainted. She woke up with his tousled hair and brown eyes looking at him, and she kissed him right there and then.

She swore not to leave his sight, but the encounter with Severus and the Slytherins played out again. Lily didn't dare stop it; but clung to James through the evening.

But, like clockwork, they passed the same corridor, James taking the corner first, and he fell to the floor, frozen in stone.

Lily screamed, hyperventilated, and promptly passed out on top of James' stone chest.

.

The third day, Lily tried to come up with some sort of a plan.

She knew she was stuck in a sort of loop.

She'd read some muggle books about this sort of thing, and she knew there were rules. She could change anything, do anything. There was always something that would happen, and there was always a trigger for it.

She needed to unravel the day and understand what was going on.

.

That day, she observed everything. She watched James' every move, stole the Map to track his and the Slytherin's routes through the castle. She memorized the spot where James fell faithfully each night, and staked them all out.

Then, over and over and over again, she watched the day's events happen with or without her.

.

Lily could only take so much of the same day before it drove her crazy; eventually she'd memorized everything the boys would say.

At breakfast, James would tease Sirius about his hair. During transfiguration, Remus would look back and catch James' eye. During the fight with Avery, Severus whispered something that she could never quite catch.

.

She looked for clues each time, to find the trigger, and tried everything she could think of.

Sometimes she would steer James away from the fight - it would happen with one of the others. In the cases where it wouldn't happen at all, the Slytherins would intimidate some underclassmen.

Sometimes she wouldn't go out on her patrol. She'd pretend not to know that James was frozen in the corridor, and she'd check the stolen Map to make sure.

Sometimes she'd steal James away into a broom closet. They weren't at a place, really, where they'd be so close. But after weeks of watching his every move, seeing his furious response to insults, and knowing that she'd have to start the day over without him knowing about any of it, she gave in to one indulgence.

It wasn't always the broom closet; every so often, empty classrooms or the quidditch pitch benches witnessed prayers for the endless day to stop.

Sometimes, she waited around the corner to get a glimpse of what would kill him.

.

It took 31 days before she caught a breakthrough.

She watched the fight play out underneath the invisibility cloak. Snape would mutter some foul thing, and refer to the Snake.

Lily learned about the Basilisk by accident. Truth be told, she couldn't remember when - it felt more like an answered prayer than anything else.

She found the puzzle, but not the solution. How does she prevent the Basilisk from petrifying James?

.

Then she noticed a few more things.

She was more comfortable watching the day repeat. Her heart didn't tear into pieces at the end of each night anymore.

If anything she had a spring to her step - more purpose to get out of this loop and save James.

.

It took another 17 days for her to break the puzzle.

A few times she'd tried to position someone else to take the Basilisk gaze - each time, nothing would happen at that time, but James would die elsewhere in the castle.

She tried taking Avery on herself - knowing there were no consequences, she let the spells fly without restraint. It was another avenue of frustration and sanity. When that happened, she felt a cold wave pass through her spine just before James was petrified. It was more evident when she was near him.

.

On the 51st day, she knew what she had to do.

James needed to watch her die.

She needed to start the fight with Avery, then maneuver James somewhere where he couldn't get petrified. Then, she needed to step out into the hall where the gaze would catch only her.

.

Lily wondered if it was too indulgent to let James take her again on that day. It would traumatizing, perhaps, to be so close to the love of his 7 years at Hogwarts only to lose her within the hour.

For once, she was able to think past replaying this day over and over again - what would happen next?

What would have happened next, if she was allowed to carry on? They would have closed the school to find out what was happening; some of the muggleborns would have to go into hiding.

The preparations, then, were clear. A piece of parchment explaining the Basilisk. At some point, she would sneak a letter into James' pocket explaining parts of everything, or at least that she loved him.

.

On the 52nd day, she took James by the hand early in the morning and led him to the Room of Requirement. She couldn't spare him, and longed for nothing else but to fall asleep in his arms and wake up together, but she took what she could get. She allowed herself a nap with him, which miraculously didn't start the day over again.

.

On the 53rd day, she was ready.

The plan itself was easy to execute.

What she didn't expect was the feeling of personification.

It was as if the weeks of numbness to watching or knowing that James would die gripped her all at once.

She felt a cold powerlessness as her body numbed; and an excruciating terror as her she gazed into a dull set of yellow eyes.

Moments before her body became stone, Lily considered how she'd felt the first day and compared it to the present.

Her heart, at least, was intact. Knowing that James would find the note, knowing that he might be safe. Knowing that she'd gotten to experience, with him, everything she could within the bounds of a single day.

For the final time, Lily closed her eyes against the terror of death and let herself sink into the silence.

.

Moments later, James shrieked as he turned the corner and saw Lily Evans petrified in the floor, with a crumpled note in her pocket and a content smile on her face.


	11. the room (day 13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i missed day 11/12... :(

"This is..."

"Yes."

"Everything that could have been."

"Yes."

"And every way it could have ended?"

"Yes."

"So what now?"

.

Before Lily stood a hundred screens, glowing faintly in the dark room. Each one showed a loop of James or Lily. In one, they were moments away from a plume of lava consuming them; in another, Lily lay asleep surrounded by friends and family.

She had watched each of these screens over and over again, thirty one times that she or James had been separated.

Now she stood in a room with a man that looked suspiciously like Albus Dumbledore, a name that Lily had never heard of until now.

.

"What can I do?"

"What would you like to do?"

"Stop this."

"Stop what?"

"James and I. Dying."

"You may."

With that, the man opened a door, and Lily vanished into the dark.

.

She found James standing in front of a house. The door was splintered into pieces, and parts of the house' foundations were visible. It was as if the house was blasted by energy.

He met her eyes. "We died here," he said.

"The first time"

"I think so. The trail starts here."

.

They followed the trail for weeks - catching glimpses of their other selves dying, trying to trace invisible threads that led them to hidden doors.

Lily chose not to question how this was all possible. One moment, she was in bed with James and the next, she experienced a hundred lifetimes all at once.

Sometimes she was a witch with a son, and sometimes just an ordinary person. Sometimes she served gods and others she lived a full life.

Neither did she ask how James was taking it all. In truth, he was probably as frightened as she refused to feel. It was a higher power they were chasing, and neither of them were particularly keen to challenge that.

She only knew that they were both done with experiencing their own demise.

.

The trail led them to another room with another hundred screens and another thirty one ways they died.

Sitting at the chair was a wispy figure.

"So you've come."

.

"Why?" was all she could ask.

The specter smiled.

"See for yourself."

With that, the specter opened a door and James and Lily vanished into the light.


	12. blizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this would be day 14

"Shit. Shit, don't freeze on me Lils." James helped Lily out of the water and carried her over his shoulder back into their makeshift igloo.

She was dripping wet, and despite the warmth inside, it was still well below freezing. James rubbed his palms together until they were warm, then put them against Lily's cheek.

"You there? We have to get inside the sleeping bag. Lils, help me get your wet clothes off."

Lily opened her eyes and nodded slowly. Then, James lifted her shirt over her head.

In a life threatening situation, James knew he probably shouldn't be thinking about how beautiful Lily looked. Her cheeks were flushed a pale red from the cold, and she took deep breaths that caused her chest to rise and fall.

If they were safer, he'd have dipped his head and kissed her lips right then and there. But, minutes from hypothermia, James knew he needed to get Lily warm in more practical ways.

By the time he got the rest of her wet clothes off and got her into a sleeping bag, his clothes were soaked through too. He stripped off his shirt and pants and slipped into the sleeping bag, trusting his body heat to conduct.

Lily shuffled so that as much of his warm skin was pressed against hers.

"James," she whispered.

"Mmm?" James nuzzled up against Lily's neck.

"Thanks."

James replied by wrapping his arm over her. Lily needed to sleep, but he would be checking her temperature and breathing over the next few hours to make sure that she didn't get sick.

.

"You're sick," James said.

Lily glared at him and sneezed.

They'd been trapped in the snow storm for four days now.

The first day they'd managed to put together a shelter and waited out what they could. On the second day, they took stock of their supplies and realized they had five days worth if they stretched them as thin as they could.

Yesterday, Lily'd fallen into a stream looking for a bag of supplies that they'd lost on the scramble to get safe.

Today, Lily was sick.

"James, you mother," Lily teased. "Did we get the bag?"

They hadn't. It was a choice between getting her out of the water, or saving the bag, and he'd chosen her.

"I let it fall," he confessed.

"You chose my fingers over a half day of food?" Lily scowled, though she knew it was probably the right decision. Functional limbs made survival a much easier task, even with less resources.

"I saved the flare gun. Once the storm subsides..." James let himself trail off.

"Okay. I'm cold. Come back to bed," Lily said.

James slipped into the sleeping bag, holding Lily close.

.

The storm didn't let up, but Lily only got worse. She began to get feverish, and couldn't stomach what food they had left. Water was hard to melt too - the electric heater had run out of batteries, and the torch was out of gas.

There wasn't much to do. Lily spent most of the time asleep or delirious, and the blizzard didn't look close to subsiding.

The storm was a sudden surprise. They were on a short hike away from the rental cabin when it hit, and the conditions made it impossible to trek back. Sirius and Remus were trapped there, and James knew that if the skies would clear, he could get the flare gun up above their location.

But Lily would have to hold out possibly another day, and however long it took the rescue teams to come.

Every few minutes, James cleared the entrance of the igloo to check the weather and prevent snow from building up in front of them. Nothing changed.

.

"James," Lily said. It was late in the night, though their sleep rhythms were thrown off. The inside of the igloo was lit up by a hand-cranked flashlight, and at this point, James had memorized and smoothed out every part of the walls.

He turned to her and met her eyes.

"I'm getting sleepy James," she said. Her voice was frail, the result of the fever and lack of nutrition. It was an uncomfortable thing to switch between the sleeping bag for warmth and shedding layers during hot flashes.

This entire time, James did his best to keep himself together. It wouldn't do good to let Lily worry. But now, seeing Lily look so pale, he lost control.

He came over to lay on Lily's heart, and covered his eyes with his gloves, to prevent the tears from freezing.

"Lils. Please, I can't lose you here. We're almost through. Just hold on."

Lily found his hand and squeezed it, and they remained.

.

A few hours later, Lily's breath was as shallow as it'd been.

Outside, the skies were finally clear and sunny. James whooped and almost leapt into the air, and went to find the flare gun.

"They're coming Lily. Just hold on," he said. Lily's green eyes pierced his as she nodded.

"Okay," she whispered.

A streak of red flew through the sky outside, and James came to lay next to Lily.

"Just hold on."

.

That evening, James woke to Lily being carried out of their igloo. The roof had been broken through by the rescue teams. There was a blanket over her body, and James fell limp to the ground. The numbness from the cold couldn't compare. He let the rescue team lift him away to safety.


	13. mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i missed day 15-19, this is day 20

James and Lily sat with their backs to some old crumbling brick building. James managed to keep a grin on his face despite having a hand pressed to his side. His other hand was planted on the ground, between which he trapped his wand. It had broken during their escape.

Lily drew up a dignified gaze, then shot him a look.

"Well, no, not exactly Potter."

She wished she was kidding. Her leg was mangled, the victim of one of the many curses launched at them during the mission. She'd tried to jump over it, but one leg hadn't cleared in time.

"Well what can I do for you?" came James' voice.

What Lily wanted to say was: get out of here. Apparate away, take my wand, and get to safety. But even she knew it'd be a tall order. He was bleeding too fast to cast the spell without splinching himself, and she was in too much pain. Their only hope was to wait for rescue.

"A lot of things James."

He shot her back a concerned look, then closed his eyes.

"How long do you think Lils?"

"Ten minutes. Think you'll last?"

She'd done everything she could for his wound - but the curse of it took more healing than she was capable of, and she couldn't get it to stop bleeding out. Eventually they gave up and sent a patronus message to the others.

"I'll try," he said, before slumping sideways. His head rested on her shoulder.

The patronus that Lily had cast was the most difficult one yet. It wasn't a very new skill for them. Through the fiery pain in her leg, she tried to recall the memory.

James and Lily joined the Order the day after they graduated, but their first mission together wasn't for months. It was a massive success, and during the celebration afterward, James had taken her over to an empty room in the house.

She expected to snog, but instead, he'd gotten on one knee. Lily didn't remember the words - but she remembered how her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her chest.

Lily let her eyes shut and savored the memory. The joy of coming back to the party and the surprise cake. The satisfaction of holding James' hand.

And the sound of footsteps, and a woman's voice: "well, well, well, what have we here."


	14. heroes

"Don't be a fool James. Save them."

Lily's glare shot every ounce of fury she could muster. They had a deal about these situations. They'd talked about them. It was the cost of playing hero, and they'd signed right up. They would always choose the civilians.

Of course, it was easier agreed to than actually done. Especially when getting into any real danger felt impossible.

Now, though, Lily was under attack from Voldemort and his six clones.

Fighting Voldemort had always been tricky. His primary superpower let him clone himself, each having a different combination of his other powers.

All but of them bombarded Lily with flashes of energy. Lily dodged them handily, but without James' speed assisting her, couldn't get any offense into the fight.

The last clone was casting a spell, and the timing would work out perfectly.

He could see it happen in slow motion. In five seconds, the villain's green energy bolt would hit Lily right in the middle of her recharge. James could get her out of the way. But if he did, he wouldn't have time to make sure everyone in the building was safe.

"Lily..." James trailed off. He looked back and forth between the skyscraper, which was moments from collapse, and Lily, whose burning red hair waved in the wind.

He was the Great Prong - hero of London - but even was coming to the end of his limits. Voldemort had been toppling buildings and attacking them all afternoon. Unlike his usual attacks or attempts at supervillainy, this one felt personal.

James had enough time to do one thing, and Voldemort had timed his attack perfectly this time.

Lily's powers were more powerful than his, but had a cost. Every few uses, she had to cycle through energy in order to attack. Ordinarily it wasn't a problem - his super speed was enough to cover her.

This time, maybe by sheer luck, or maybe by perfect timing, she'd get hit right in the middle of her recharge when she was most vulnerable.

James looked at Lily one more time, then shot off towards the building. It took half a second to get there.

The steel rebars that made up the skyscraper's frame were almost hinges by now. James sprinted through the 127 floors in 3.45 seconds, carrying every person out and to a safe place.

He was fast enough. He could get everyone out and still get to Lily in time. Still another second.

James' legs burned like they never had before as he burst through the air back to the forest where they'd been battling Voldemort. Lily had managed to dodge the attacks from 6 directions easily, but her power cycle would cost the second it took the green missile to cross the rest of the distance.

With .5 seconds left, James considered the scene in front of him. It was a problem without a solution.

He could get to Lily, but then what? The Avada bolt would be dangerously close by then.

He could try to land a punch on the clone and misdirect the shot - but the angle he had was wrong, and it wasn't guaranteed that the other clones would sit still for long enough.

In the end, the choice was easy.

In .5 seconds, James finished his sprint to Lily and squeezed her hand. Despite being at super speed, she squeezed back. James snuck in a kiss on her cheek.

Then, he took the extra .05 second to step in front of the green bolt that screamed through the air at them.

James body blasted limply through the air, and Lily, realizing what James had done, spent the full measure of her power detonating the air around her.

Voldemort, unprepared for the raw magnitude of power, disintegrated instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know this is how it'd go down if they were superheroes
> 
> James has superspeed and Lily is... kinda like scarlett witch


End file.
